It's amazing how songs can bring back memories and emotions. Today at work, I (almost) watched a student sing "I don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith. Upon finding about her song choice I worried that I might lose it.
And I did.
Blame it to that movie Armageddon. That tear jerker flick never fails to make me cry 'til now. That same song, is the song my sister and I sang for my Papa's eulogy. At that time, we felt the lyrics were made for us and captured our feelings for our dad. Today, I relived the pain, the love and the journey. It felt so real and fresh as if it just happened yesterday.
And so the loser that I am now, ran away from the music and found myself writing my gut out.
In a few months time I will become a wife. Since my fiance is a musician, I requested my bridal walk to be the same song. It is my way to honor my dad, who will never see me wear that off white dress. I will never hear him complain about how long it takes for women to dress up. I will never hear him bully my mom about her make up. Or go to me and say that I'm like a "bella" with my red lipstick. I will never get a chance to see his nod of approval or his shy smile that always says, "I'm proud of you Ate." I will never get a chance to have my Papa walk me down the aisle.
Yes, he may be watching over me and smiling that day. But it is never the same. Never the same.
On the day of the wedding, I pray for the strength to hold it together.Ironic how my big day can be the happiest and well, 2nd to saddest, day of my life.
I pray for the day when the tears will stop flowing when I hear that song. For now, let me just take my time to mourn.
Join me shall you?
And I did.
Blame it to that movie Armageddon. That tear jerker flick never fails to make me cry 'til now. That same song, is the song my sister and I sang for my Papa's eulogy. At that time, we felt the lyrics were made for us and captured our feelings for our dad. Today, I relived the pain, the love and the journey. It felt so real and fresh as if it just happened yesterday.
And so the loser that I am now, ran away from the music and found myself writing my gut out.
In a few months time I will become a wife. Since my fiance is a musician, I requested my bridal walk to be the same song. It is my way to honor my dad, who will never see me wear that off white dress. I will never hear him complain about how long it takes for women to dress up. I will never hear him bully my mom about her make up. Or go to me and say that I'm like a "bella" with my red lipstick. I will never get a chance to see his nod of approval or his shy smile that always says, "I'm proud of you Ate." I will never get a chance to have my Papa walk me down the aisle.
Yes, he may be watching over me and smiling that day. But it is never the same. Never the same.
On the day of the wedding, I pray for the strength to hold it together.Ironic how my big day can be the happiest and well, 2nd to saddest, day of my life.
I pray for the day when the tears will stop flowing when I hear that song. For now, let me just take my time to mourn.
Join me shall you?
