Only a few people know that my first love is singing. I started singing when I was three years old, back when my sister and I would record a tape for my father abroad. Batang OFW. My parents supported our talent by enrolling us to a music school when I was seven. I was also a diligent choir member, and a soloist at that. I've had recitals, concerts with Aizza Seguerra (who was really an icon for kids then), and yes, joined competitions.
I won my first competition when I was six at our school. I didn't even know what a singing competition is. I remembered my competitors wearing nice dresses and belting out Whitney Houston songs. I, on the other hand, was wearing terno Mickey Mouse shirt and shorts, ready to sing and dance to the tune of-- hold your breath-- Rachel Alejandro's "Mr. Kupido." Hey, I won 3rd place, beating the bigger girls! The rest is history as they say. I became part of a trio in school, until I became too cool for singing.Or at least I thought so. Deep inside, I really wanted to become a famous singer.
Sadly, I stopped singing even before I got really famous. At 10 years old, I became eligible to represent my school to a regional singing contest. (That's only because my sister, who is the better singer, cannot represent the school for the 2nd time and the rest of the good singers were done as well :P ) I was ready to conquer the song, "Kung Maibabalik Ko Lang" by Regine Velazquez. They said I was a front runner, and to this day, I still think that I might be, except that I got sick the night before the competition. So, I went to the competition (held at our provincial coliseum and judged by Dulce) with fever, sore throat, bad colds, and a really hoarse voice. I sang my heart out very badly and heard my voice break at the last birit. I remember crying at the backstage with my mom and lola comforting me.
I stopped singing after. I hated myself for disappointing my family and my school, and most of all, for humiliating myself in front of thousands of audience. I short, na trauma akesh.
Many singing opportunities came but I never went near a mic until Singles for Christ came along. I guess I never escaped the mark I made in my village (haha!), that right after graduation from SFC, I immediately became part of my chapter's music ministry. It made feel alive again. My voice, of course, was never the same, having slumbered for almost eleven years, but it was a start for me. My sister had to ruin my singing career though, when she followed me to SFC the year after. She took over the singing, as I moved on to writing for our newsletter (my second love), and then doing events (my third love).
I never gave up my first love though, thank God for bathrooms and morning showers. I guess music will always be in my blood. Duh! I'm attracted to musically inclined people, and I am actually in love with one (except that he is not just musically inclined, he is very gifted).
In SFC, I learned that whatever we do out of love for God is a way to glorify Him. I learned to be thankful for my talents, and actually use my talents. I learned to say YES to wherever He calls me to, because now I know that there is purpose to my gifts. And every time I use it for His glory, I make Him known.
At bilang go lang ng go, nagkaron na ko ng guts para mag volunteer kumanta, sa provincial music ministry. Tomorrow, is my relaunching. But you know what, I'm not anxious, because this time, there is no fancy dress, no coveted award, no expectations to meet. My Great God is my only audience, cheerer, and my biggest fan. I am super ready for You Papa God! :) Let me glorify You through my talents.
As I reconnect with my first love, let me quote my chorale teacher from grade school, "He who sings well, prays twice. He who sings not very well, praise thrice." So Lord, 100 x to infinity po ang level ng praise ko!!! Hehe.
"That in all things, God may be glorified."
