For God can read a poker face.

So you raise your hand very high in worship.
Cry your heart out in praise.
Speak of God's mercies and deliver God's message.
You boast of missions accomplished, areas conquered, souls led.
Yet outside of the comfort zone, and the eyes of those who watch
You are just another name, with a fake smile, covering dirty acts.
Your perfume cannot hide the real  aroma

Of a despicable soul that is you.

For no matter how high you hold up your hand,

or how loud you raise your voice in praise

God always sees a genuine heart

         and reads a poker face.

On happiness and peace of mind

On June 2008, someone very close to my heart asked me what happiness and peace of mind is. During that time, I was mourning, grieving for losing the love of my life (or so I thought). Yet very clearly I recall answering him without a blink of an eye.

And since it was the age of technology, everything transpired via email. I happened to retrieve this from my Inbox.

Happiness is raising my hand, singing my heart out, and crying that overwhelmed cry, when I am one with God in worship.

Happiness is seeing Mama and Papa, making lambing, as if Candy and I were not around.

Happiness is being in the arms of the person I loved most.

Happiness is being with my brothers and sisters in SFC, the one who knows my beautiful and ugly side, yet loves me for me.

The thin line...

Peace of mind, is making the most painful and difficult decision yet sleeping beautifully at night, knowing that you made the right one.

Peace of mind is the security that you are loved, head to foot, no buts, no ifs, just you.

Happiness is the state of knowing that you did what is just and right, to the best of your capability.

Happiness is bliss from following your heart.

Love is the two, and all the other fruits of love combined, with the person who will love me more than forever.

Amen. :)


Gosh, I can't believe I wrote that almost three years ago, during the most painful part of my life. I feel the words stronger now more than ever. I thank the Holy Spirit for the wisdom to not only write it down, but believe the spirit of those letters.

May we all find our own true happiness ad peace of mind.

On Waiting for God's Time

I went to work today a bit heavy hearted. In fact, I went to sleep feeling really sad. I had my heart set on accomplishing a goal this month. I wanted to attend Grad School, and Monday is the Admissions Deadline. For some reason, this personal goal has been pushed aside for almost three years now. I've been a busy girl doing whatever God leads me to do. Quite frankly, it has been a lot.

I have always been the kind of girl who does everything in her capacity to get whatever she wants. Naniniwala akong diskarte and susi sa tagumpay. But as Paolo Coelho said, "When you put your heart into something, if it's really for you, then the universe will conspire." I hear a sister's voice now, "Pray also sis that it is God's will for you."

When I made the follow up call for that last Admission requirement early this morning, I knew, this isn't the time yet (match with God's FB message):P How disappointing! I can just anticipate what my Papa will ask me yet again, "Why? What happened? When?"

So as sad as I maybe tonight, I know there's always the second sem. I get God's answer. I know that I'm really gonna be super Tets should I pursue this now. I know I am capable of juggling all my roles really, but God knows me better. God always does. For now then, I just thank you Lord for the thing that has yet to come, and I pray for the grace to understand the things I can't for now. Are there more work for You? Are there more fulfilled dreams? Then please give me the patience to wait with hope on what You have in stored for me. Make me listen Lord... because You know how stubborn I can get most of the time.

Your will be done Lord. Your will be done.